The Power of Resilience with Dr Lucy Hone and MoreMind

I am a member of a yoga organisation called MoreYoga, and very lucky to receive a free weekly schedule of yoga classes to live stream for free on their private youtube account. Included in the weekly schedule are videos, projects and workshops associated with MoreMind, which involves discussions about wellbeing and mental health. Have you ever found meditation difficult, felt like your brain won't switch off, felt irritable, anxious or drained and endlessly fatigued? I came across this wonderful video about The Power of Resilience, with Dr Lucy Hone who is a specialist in resilience, wellbeing and dealing with loss and bereavement. 

Dr Hone lost her daughter in a car crash in 2014. When she and the rest of her family were coping with their loss, she was shocked at the lack of mourning support and the resources that were available were poor. Before this difficult time, Dr Hone had gained a Masters in Positive Pscychology at Pennsylvania University. Whilst at university, she worked alongside military soldiers who had just returned from Afganistan. Her aim was to train over a million soldiers to be "mentally fit to complement their physical fitness" (Hone, 2019). As she was carrying out her doctoral research in Christchurch, the terrible earthquakes had hit New Zealand. With her relevant academic background, she taught organisations, communities, companies and individuals new ways of thinking to boost resilience during such tragic incidences. Her own test of resilience occurred when her daughter passed away in 2014, as mentioned above. 

Dr Hone has continued her great work as Co-Director of New Zealand Institude of Wellbeing and Resilience, Research Associate for Auckland's University of Technology, Author of many books including Resilient Grieving. 

MY NOTES ON THE INTERVIEW: 

The video I watched is sadly not available to watch publicly on YouTube, but I made several notes on coping mechanisms, key points, statistics and theories. 

- Go easy on yourself. Be kind to yourself. 

- Remember that everyone suffers from grief and loss during a pandemic, whether that is a loved one, a job, a home... 

- Dial the inner critic down. 

- Notice if you are struggling, acknowledge that struggling is normal, and be kinder to yourself. 

- A key Buddhist knowing: suffering is a part of life, a human emotion. 

- Anxiety is an intolerance to uncertainty. 

- 76% of people are kinder to others than they are to themselves. 

- Burn-out is a when one is cynical, ineffective, emotionally and physically exhausted. 

- Ask yourself, Is this harming or helping me? Write down your thoughts. 

- The interview suggested that you can build up your own inner resilience. Having a high level of self-awareness and a determination to act in a way that helps you, not harms you. 

Dr Lucy Hone's definition perspective on the word resilience is as follows: 

Resilience = the capacity to work/steer through any catastrophic event and learn from it. 

4 USES OF RESILIENCE: 

Resilience as a way to get through childhood - trauma, abuse, suffering. 

Resilience towards general everyday stuff. 

Resilience to 'big stuff' - suicide, mental illness, bereavement, divorce, covid-19. 

Resilience in approach - being proactive, taking risks, reaching out, trying new things, being flexible, facing new challenges. 

GENERAL ADVICE: 

If you are feeling anxious all the time, get help. There is no shame in struggling. Go to your GP, tell a friend. There are also a lot of online courses, an example being ACT  - Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Remember to stay present. Try not to forecast forward too much. People who do well in challenging times are very pragmatic, do not diminish the enormity of the situation, find things that make them feel hopeful and positive. Have and develop realistic optimism. Whether you find that through yoga, mindfulness - stay in the moment. Phone friends, move rooms. Changing physical locations has been discovered as a great way of helping, just getting outside or receiving a change in scenery. Another simple way is to stick to the facts. It is acceptable to allow yourself to wallow on what is bringing you down for a minute or so but no longer. There is no point perpetually going over and over the bad thoughts in your head. 

Ask yourself: What's still good in my world (instead of gratitude)? Who is still good in your world? What's a realistic goal for me now? 

My Ethical Considerations:

How can we assume that everyone copes with suffering in the same way? 

How can you help someone who cannot afford treatment, healthcare and appointments? 

Is it a privilege to have a support network or a luxury? 

Dr Hone's approach to her work took a major turn when her daughter died. Do we all need to have something catastrophic in our lives to also learn to deal with loss? 

How can we measure happiness?

Can resilience be a 'thing' to be practiced? If so, how? 

Is being realistic different for everyone? How can we weigh realism? Does that look different to everybody? 

References: 

Hone, L (2019). Sorrow and tragedy will happen to us all - here are 3 strategies to help you cope. Available at: https://ideas.ted.com/sorrow-and-tragedy-will-happen-to-us-all-here-are-3-strategies-to-help-you-cope/ (Accessed: 18 October 2020).