HELLO MODULE 3

 Hello everyone,

I hope all of my fellow BA Professional Practice students have had a lovely summer break. This may not be the case for everyone, but the pandemic has surely interrupted my practice, my passion, my sense of self. For some, this break has been a good way to take a breath, re-align, put life on pause into a meaningful perspective. There have been days where I have enjoyed the quieter moments, appreciating daily life. But other days, it has been a struggle where I feel lost in the unprecedented world we are living in. I love this open space of sharing among the BAPP blog community and wish to share what has been happening in my life during these difficult months. I hope this will instigate a flow of discussion, where others feel they can do the same. 

Since my ballet tour with Vienna Festival Ballet was terminated prematurely, I received even bigger news. My directors decided to retire early, and cancel all planned performances for the remainder of 2020. After two years of employment and certainty, I was left aimless. Surprisingly, the shock of this news did not affect my motivation nor drive. I continued to dance from home, frolicking in the kitchen and living room, follow yoga and HIIT workouts online from my garden (which I feel very privileged to have had during Covid-19) and generate a sense of purpose from within. As I have developed from module 1, the key thing that I have learnt, and continue to remind myself, is that my practice is not solely defined by my current state of employment. The closing of Vienna Festival Ballet was out of my hands, and though it affected my current idealisation of my future, there was nothing I could do to change the past or current situation at hand. 

Apart from trying to keep some adequate level of fitness, I have really enjoyed reading many fiction novels, spending time with my family, my dear cat and having the time to cook nice meals. I have developed a passion for teaching, where I have been tutoring children violin throughout the pandemic. Predictably, I also jumped on the baking wagon and have made many delightful desserts. In my defence, I have spent many years making cakes - carrot, banana, chocolate, lemon, pancakes, brownies, which I suppose is a result of my Scandinavian heritage. We love our baking and cosy foods. Very KOSELIG! Definition of koselig is below: 

https://www.lifeinnorway.net/a-visual-guide-to-koselig/#:~:text=More%20than%20anything%20else%2C%20koselig,koselig%2C%20you%20need%20koselig%20things.

I even managed to arrange several auditions for companies worldwide, but one trip had to be cancelled due to travel and quarantine restrictions. I completed a week of workshops with a new start-up ballet company called Capital Ballet which was amazing. I also managed to fly to Copenhagen for an audition too. Attempting to audition during Coronavirus times is definitely a challenge, and I must give my self more credit for having the courage to do so. As many dancers have been stuck at home with no studios, gyms or theatres open, most probably feel more out of shape and perhaps even worried and fearful to get back into the swing of everyday dancing life. The thought of getting back into a tight-fitted leotard can be a nightmare for some dancers, whereas others may be embracing what has happened and accept the change that has occurred in their lives. I tend to merge between these two approaches. Another thought that I have been pondering over is the idea of muscle memory. After getting back into a studio, will my body be able to perform what it used to? How strong is muscle memory? From module 2, I know that Martha Graham was intrigued about muscle memory and how it evolved within the mind and through the body. What do you dancers think about muscle memory, after all of these months 'off'? 

For now, I need to embrace the unknown. Believe in myself. Be patient. Be positive. Be proactive. 

Grasp every opportunity I can get. Take every day as it comes. Be blessed for what is in the present.